Female leadership is an act of courage and authenticity, and it is the key to truly effective negotiation strategies.
The way we embrace our feminine role in our workplaces and businesses is our greatest advantage. The incredible thing about our position is that our most powerful resource lies, precisely, in our essence. The first step to leading as a woman is simple, yet profoundly transformative: we must accept that intrinsic strength, embracing the wonderful characteristics that make us unique. Instead of denying them, we must make them work in our favor.
The Mirror and the Self: The First Step to Improving Self-Esteem
Your Only Competitor is in the Mirror
Where is your greatest competitor? She is in the mirror, standing right in front of you.
Instead of seeing other women in your workplace as a threat or competition, you must remember that the only person you should compete with is yourself every single day.
If you see everyone as a threat, it is a reflection of what you carry inside: a lack of self-confidence or low self-esteem. Those external threats are a representation of our own fears. If you compete with the person you see in the mirror, trying to be better than yesterday with compassion, you will achieve genuine improvement in your self-esteem.
The Ladder Rule (Mutual Support)
Female leadership demands sisterhood. There is a lot of loneliness “up there,” and unity creates strength. If you have the opportunity to help a woman climb, provide the ladder. We will not be able to change structures or evolve if we do not support one another.
Negotiation Strategies: The Power of Your Own Essence
Authentic Negotiation: Don’t Act Like a Man
One of the most common traps is trying to negotiate like a man. I say this from experience: it doesn’t work. When you try to be super strong and aggressive, you are working directly against your nature.
Your best calling card is yourself. Your best negotiation strategy is not aggression, but your own essence: that funny, caring, emotional, or even innocent part of you. You are who you are, and when you are at the negotiation table, the only credibility that matters is the one your authenticity gives you. The only role you should play is your own.
Intuition, Empathy, and Listening
Why reject what makes us powerful? Women possess far more empathetic values and wonderful characteristics like knowing how to listen or the ability to reach people’s hearts.
Intuition and empathy are tools of female leadership that allow you to make better decisions by understanding the other person. Empowering these strengths is key to effective negotiation and leadership.
The Power of Storytelling and Vulnerability
Women are great storytellers. And we must tell those stories of how hard we worked to reach these positions and share them. There is so much power in vulnerability and emotion that we should not be afraid to show our humanity.
By sharing your journey with your teams, you become more human, more relatable, and this generates a connection that inspires. Showing your vulnerability is an act of female leadership that gives you unmatched credibility.
Finally, you have to reflect on your trajectory. Analyze your experience and change the narrative.
Instead of being a victim of circumstances, become an example of triumph over adversity. The most important thing is not what happens to us, but how we react to what happens to us.
If you feel that “victim narrative” is rooted in doubt or insecurity, I invite you to read my second book, “El Miedo y Yo” (Fear and I). In it, I delve into how to turn that paralyzing emotion into your greatest ally.
Don’t be afraid to shine. You have to give yourself permission to show that light as high and strong as possible, because that will help all of us.
And we must do this alongside men because we are complementary. It is important that we work together, men and women, for a better world, coordinating our efforts.
A huge hug,
Bisila Bokoko
