Have you ever felt insecure, compared yourself to another person, or even avoided social contact in order not to be rejected? If so, you are not alone. Like you, I have experienced similar situations in my life. It is necessary to strengthen your self-esteem.
During my childhood, I discovered that because I was Black, everything would be more difficult for me, and that being a woman would present an additional difficulty. However, life has shown me that we can all succeed and have an optimal quality of life despite not meeting society’s standards. The first step toward achieving this is to learn to love and accept ourselves as we are.
But how can we love and accept ourselves if we don’t feel comfortable with who we are? Well, this is where self-esteem plays a vital role, because it is the foundation on which we build our identities and develop our well-being. Self-esteem is the assessment we have of ourselves: how we perceive our bodies and our ways of being and feeling. Loving each other allows us to develop a full life, and as Oscar Wilde said, “Loving yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” However, we care much more about what others think and say about us, and this can result in overestimating ourselves and becoming arrogant or in underestimating ourselves and developing a negative image.
Now, even if we don’t have a positive self-image, the good news is that we can change that perception at any time and start working on our self-esteem. The way to do this is by making use of the seven steps that have helped me, which I am certain will be of great help to you:
1. Know Yourself: Accept and Love Yourself
The first step toward developing healthy self-esteem is to understand your strengths and embrace your weaknesses. Knowing yourself is an act of self-love that implies self-acceptance and respect. Putting aside the constant search for external approval and learning to value yourself will allow you to understand that you are a unique and special being.
2. Take Care of Yourself Physically, Mentally, And Emotionally
Eating a balanced diet, engaging in physical exercise regularly, and maintaining a good personal appearance all contribute to improving our well-being. When we take care of ourselves, self-confidence increases, and we strengthen our self-esteem. Understand, though, that self-care is far from being a selfish act. On the contrary, it allows us to create a relationship with ourselves based on respect and empathy.
3. Acknowledge Negative Thoughts
Be honest with yourself: Have you ever thought that sometimes you are your own worst critic? Well, yes, it happens to all of us when we judge ourselves harshly and let negative thoughts infiltrate our minds. It is our responsibility to learn to identify those self-destructive voices that seek to limit us and replace them with constructive thoughts that open spaces to grow and develop our full potential.
Acknowledging our negative thoughts allows us to take control of our emotions, which translates into an improvement in our self-esteem. Remember that our internal conversations and what we think about ourselves on a daily basis can become reality.
4. Eliminate Toxic Relationships
Toxic relationships can undermine our self-esteem and generate anxiety and insecurity. If we really want to build our self-esteem, we need to walk away from people and situations that put us down and make us feel bad. Instead, we must surround ourselves with people who add value to our lives, respect us, and encourage us to be the best version of ourselves.
5. Look at Life with Optimism
When we develop a positive approach to life, we increase our confidence and resilience in the face of challenges. An optimistic and grateful attitude allows us to appreciate what we have, what we are, and what we have achieved, however small it may seem.
6. Have Patience
The path to healthy self-esteem is not linear. On the contrary, it has ups and downs, since the perception we have of ourselves and the circumstances we face vary over the years. It is vital to be patient and understanding; learning to accept and love ourselves takes time and effort.
7. Be Yourself
Letting go of the expectations others have of us is extremely liberating. When we stop trying to please those around us and wanting to fit in, we move closer to our true essence and allow ourselves to live an authentic and fulfilling life.
By putting these seven steps into practice, you will be working on strengthening your self-esteem, and you will cultivate a healthy coexistence with yourself and with those around you. Respecting, accepting, and loving ourselves is the first step towards a positive change in us, so don’t just think about it anymore – give yourself the gift of living a full life!
As I always tell you, I would love to know more about you! I invite you to write me a message in the comments section or through my social networks, and I will answer you with great pleasure.
Big hugs,
Bisila Bokoko
