For many years, I spent my life in a never-ending race: caring for my children and our dog, leading meetings, attending events, and writing reports, while trying to maintain the perfect smile.
I felt like a true Wonder Woman, believing I could do it all, that I didn’t need help, that delegating was synonymous with failure. Without realizing it, I fell into a harmful pattern that demanded more from me than I could give.
Wonder Woman Syndrome is not uncommon. Many of us have experienced it, because society teaches us that we must fulfill endless roles: good mothers, exemplary daughters, perfect friends, outstanding professionals, loving wives, and all without showing exhaustion. However, the price we pay for trying to fulfill this unattainable ideal is very high.
Do you identify with Wonder Woman Syndrome?
If any of these statements resonate with you, you may be experiencing this syndrome too:
- You hide emotions like fear, sadness, or anger to avoid conflict.
- You are deeply disappointed when you don’t receive everything you give to others.
- You demand more from yourself than necessary, trying to meet impossible standards.
- The amount of responsibilities overwhelms you, and you feel like you are losing control.
- You break down when you don’t meet your own expectations.
This behavior often has deep roots. Many times, we try to please everyone because we have a hard time recognizing our own worth.
Perfectionism and the need to be “everything to everyone” are symptoms of low self-esteem, of a void that we try to fill with achievements and external validation.
The signs that you need to stop
In my experience, there was a moment when my body and mind began to give me clear signals that I couldn’t continue like this.
I noticed that I was always putting others first and leaving my own needs aside, which led me to feel drained, as though I had given away all my energy without reserving any for myself.
I resented always being the one to give in and prioritize others, and that constant dynamic made me feel like my efforts weren’t valued, leaving me emotionally empty.
Additionally, I realized that by abandoning myself, I was also starting to feel alone.
Recognizing these signs was the first step to stopping, reevaluating, and seeking meaningful change.
The Price of Being Wonder Woman
Trying to be everything to everyone not only affects our physical and mental health, but it also distances us from who we really are.
Wonder Woman syndrome is, at its core, a response to unresolved internal pain. It can be a way to mitigate insecurities or to seek approval in the wrong place.
However, we can say goodbye to this destructive behavior. It’s not an easy change, but it is deeply necessary.
How to Fire Wonder Woman
The following tools helped me break free from the chains of perfectionism. I want to share them with you:
1. Accept that you can’t do it all. Recognizing that we are not invincible is an act of humility and self-love.
2. Stop seeking external validation. Your value is not in what you do for others, but in who you are.
3. Learn to delegate. Delegating is a sign of strength, not weakness. Surrounding yourself with a team or accepting help from those around you is key.
4. Reconnect with your body. Pay attention to the signals it sends you: rest when you’re exhausted, eat when you’re hungry, and find moments for yourself.
5. Let go of excessive control. Leave room for uncertainty; not everything depends on you, and that’s okay.
6. Stop comparing yourself. Other people’s lives are not the standard you should follow. Each path is unique, and your value does not depend on being like someone else.
7. Ask for help. This doesn’t make you less capable, but more human.
8. Recognize that you are enough. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone.
A new beginning
Making the decision to say goodbye to Wonder Woman wasn’t easy.
At first, I was afraid of not being enough, of disappointing others. As I moved forward, however, I discovered something powerful: that my true value was in my humanity, not in my accomplishments.
Today, I live in a place of authenticity and balance. I have learned that climbing mountains is not for others to admire me, but for me to admire the path I’ve taken.
My life is no longer defined by how many things I can do, but by how I feel while doing them.
If you are struggling with this syndrome too, I want to remind you of something: you can free yourself. You have the power to rediscover who you are beyond the roles you play.
The freedom you find by letting go of perfectionism and control is immense, and it allows you to live a fuller, more authentic life.
Change begins when you understand that you are enough just the way you are. Thank you for taking the time to read me and accompany me in this space of reflection and learning.
I value your opinion greatly, so if this article resonated with you or left you with any thoughts, I would love to hear about it. Leave me your comments or send me a message through my social networks (@bisilabokoko).
A big hug,
Bisila Bokoko
